New week! Last Tuesday...man it got me. It was like being on a roller coaster of my own emotions all day long. By the end of the day, I had enough of myself and put myself to bed. Thank gawd! When I woke, to a new day, I started like I always start...with Meditation first. Then, a stream of posts on Instagram, a text from my best-gurl, and an unexpected phone call came and all contained a similar message distilled from this quote by Einstein:
Everything is Energy
And that's all there is to it.
Match the frequency of the reality you want
You cannot help but get that reality.
It can be no other way.
This is not Philosophy. This is Physics.
A few months ago, I sent a newsletter out to #themotherlove clan (you can sign up too over there in the sidebar) asking you what you want to hear more of from me. There was one common thread: how to be more mindful. All in a matter of a 24 hour period, I was able to see the door was open to talk about mindfulness via cultivating energy in your life.
Mindfulness is hard to conceptualize during early postpartum years, because often times the hormones, loss of sleep, and physical changes going on inside and outside of you are all a woman can keep up with day-to-day. Real, practical practices are often the best way to engage in cultivating energy and becoming "more mindful."
What I really hear from moms:
- "How do I not lose my shit on my kids at the end of the day?"
- "I can go workout, I can go to my acupuncturist, I can see a therapist, but it doesn't seem like it matters at the end of the day, because I can't hold myself accountable and need to take responsibility on small and big parts of my life."
- "I'm way beyond exhausted, and my little loves steal all my energy. I am desperate for me time."
There are techniques I teach my clients on how to manage and cultivate energy in their lives, because most of them are also running businesses and working their tails off in their careers. To reach overwhelm for women, like yourself, is very possible if you don't have some very fundamental and basic tools.
So, here are a few fundamentals:
#1 Developing a daily meditation practice always brings you back to center. Best to do 5 minutes right when you wake up, even with your kiddo in bed with you. Put a hand on your heart, and just breathe into your hand. Set an intention if you need to, but don't blow this practice off. It will take months to get used to doing this ritually. But, when you are practicing everyday it is easier for the part of your brain that drives our emotions to chill out and step down from it's "flight or fight" mode. (I can't say enough positive stuff about meditation for survival in early motherhood. Start now!)
#2 Chose one momma friend who inspires you, in her athleticism, her conscious or unconscious way of living, her snarky humor, her parenting, her ability to still have sex with her partner - whatever it is, choose someone other than your mate. Have a discussion with her about holding each other accountable in the area of life (choose one goal) where she inspires you, because you want to be better in that area too. Then, turn it onto her and ask how you can help her.
Finally, Create a weekly 5-10 minute check-in to see how y'all are coming along. Do this for a month, see what changes and evolves in you. This not only cultivates connection, it gives you access to someone you trust and know will get your back if you start to slip. I inherently believe these relationships are fundamental in creating energy reserves.
#3 Work on time delegation with your spouse, especially if you feel like all your energy is being stolen by your kids. If you need to get out the door to workout, schedule it with your partner or the nanny. If you need to get a facial, schedule it. Most men develop some sort of "man cave" during the first year of parenting, but really it is a way of escaping the tremendous transition going on in your lives.
Dads need as much support as moms in the transition to parenthood, so talk to them about it.
But also take action, because men like action (and truthfully so do we). I'm not saying ask for permission, at all. I am saying engage with your partner so you can both relieve some of the pressure, exhaustion and time issues that are wearing you both out.
What I'm learning about a lot of the Mother Lovers out there is that you all have some badass in you and you're busting your butt trying to locate it and restore it in yourself. Little basic actions in your life, day to day, are going to produce the energy you need to thrive and get through these years that feel like they will never end. Let me tell you, they will and do end.
Even if you're rolling in it deep, I want you to choose one of the actions above and apply it to your life.
If you have additional insight or tips that have helped you cultivate more energy and "match the frequency of the reality you really want" in your life, as a woman and momma, please tell us in the comments below.
As always, it's great to have you here and amongst The Mother Love clan. Spread it if you like it.
Have a SAFE 4th of July, if you're in the States. It's a big and fun day in our family, hope it is in your family too. Enjoy!
Big, Big Love,