If I’m to be completely honest this mom gig is way more challenging than I anticipated and in unexpected ways. For example, I had no idea that the flood of hormones caused by breastfeeding would leave me feeling scattered, unfocused, and unable to remember my words – basically I’m operating like a stoned person. Or I had no idea that the stress of not getting enough sleep would leave me craving sugar which isn’t doing my still recovering body any favors. For some reason I didn’t consider in advance that committing to breastfeeding would also mean compromising my closet to only clothes that can sustain leaks and give Fox easy accessibility to the boob. And every day I’m trying to balance who I am with who I was with who I want to be – adding “good mom” to my list of titles leaves me wondering how I’m also going to manage “adventurer”, “world traveler”, and “badass business woman” too.
But if I’m being completely honest I also have to tell you that I’m so in love it hurts. I’m surprised at how much I love being a mom … and I think I’m pretty good at it. I feel so lucky that Fox chose us. Watching Jeremy kiss Fox’s neck until he erupts in a fit of giggles is probably my favorite thing in the whole world right now. And I’m sure hormones are at play here but I feel physically addicted to my baby – I start to crave him when we’re apart for too long. Having Fox has made me painfully aware of how fragile life is, and how lucky we are to be living in our skin. It’s made me realize that life truly is too short to waste it on the kinds of unproductive emotions that seem to come with the post-partum package including guilt, embarrassment, and overwhelm just to name a few. It’s become clear that life is too short to be living in anything less than love…
#lastpush story written by the lovely Kathleen Shannon. She is powerful woman, brilliant soul, and a total #boss. Thanks for joining us for this last push, K! XO
ps...you can listen to our conversation on self-care for mom boss on her podcast Being Boss from last month.