There were so many challenges in those early days, but I think the biggest one (because everything else hinged to it) was not trusting my instincts as a momma. You enter into this new world of inexperience and I'm pretty used to knowing where I'm going and what I'm about and so it was a very foreign concept. I think at times my frustrations mimicked clementines - she so clearly wanted more mobility, more control of her own body and self expression and you could tell she was at war with that inability to perform the things she intended. For me it was much the same - why couldn't I get my own baby to stop crying? was she sick? was I nursing too much?
Living in the South I received lots of well intentioned input and advice, but with very little of it meeting with my own wishes and instincts. When I stopped listening to all the outside noise, it was pretty magical. Because guess what ladies, as long as you have plenty of love for your little baby, I don't think you can mess it up. Let the road unfold and please be at peace with it all.
K. Lynn, February 2015