Throughout the month, we're exploring this concept of 'the new normal' you experience after each time you give birth. If you're 'one-and-done', today's jam will still help you out.
I've recently learned from working with clients, and my own health explorations, the coolest part about our body is when we really learn to feel our body. One question I ask clients and friends a lot is, "How's your heart?" This simple question gets you out of your head and into your feeling body - or emotional body.
A lot of the energy I see showing up for my clients around their emotional body or "heart" is in their relationships. To help you out a bit, here are a few tips I teach my clients:
1. Delegate First
One way to strengthen your relationship is to delegate tasks and responsibilities equally after your baby is born. If you've just had your second, or fourth, you'll have to revisit how tasks will be delegated with your partner. For instance, delegate chores but don't judge how each of you does them; or, negotiate pick-up and drop-off from daycare or school, and commit to that schedule. Delegating early will prevent resentment and stress from one person doing a lot more work than the other, and not talking about it.
2. No Baby, Not Tonight!
For most couples, sex takes a back seat. But happy children need happy parents, and having a healthy, intimate relationship is a big part of your happiness. You will have to get creative on date night, scheduling sex sometimes, and try many new, unique ways of being intimate together. There will be difficult conversations sometimes, so pick up a book called Hold Me Tight to help you when you hit bumps in your relationship.
3. Managing your stress
Stress is a major part of early motherhood that's often overlooked. Feelings of alienation, grief, loss of identity, loss of freedom, loss if you miscarried, fear you're going to 'eff' your baby up, and about your body image can contribute to the stress of a mom and those who support her. It's important to develop coping skills to deal with all the new challenges you face and to manage your stress. This is where getting or hiring SUPPORT comes in!
Take a look at your daily life, from diet, meditation, and exercise, to talking with a therapist, or hiring a coach. Take a look from an 'eagle-eye' perspective and truly see your whole picture, and what you need to feel good (Here...check out another post I wrote on stress. It will help you understand how stress is good for you).
Makes me wonder, how do YOU want to feel as you adjust and discover who you are today, now, with another new baby or your first new baby? As a woman, and a mother? Tell me in the comments below.
Here's another hint to stay solid emotionally as you continue to heal and grow: be in touch with this question as you move forward, and always lead with your heart!
Have a brilliant week! Enjoy the sunshine and warmth of summer.
ps...everyday, we come closer to the launch of our Kickstarter campaign!!! I couldn't have got to this excited place or done all the hard work without you cheering me on!! I love you and thank you for all your high, positive vibes and for believing in The Mother Love and for your support. Excited to spread the love soon!! x