V is for Vulnerability


I woke up yesterday (after having a dream that my brotha-from-anotha-motha gave me a three star rating and having a week that threw me around a bit) saying to myself, “You got this.” If you’ve read for a while, you know “You Got This” is part of #themotherlove Credo. The quote was probably drilled into me during high school track, then again when I was delivering babies and mommas, but has very much come to life in the past 13 months. 

I’m really good at being strong and persistent. It’s in my DNA. But some of you want to know what happens when the stronghold over here has her own big “V” moment? Well, I can relate it to surfing. 

The defining moment in my surfing career was on a lay over day in Northern Baja with a group of teenagers I was instructing, circa 2002. A swell was coming in from New Zealand, giving us overhead waves. Where the kids couldn’t surf, we could. So I had the waves all to myself. 

I had been surfing 8’ boards most of the time, because I was learning as I taught…Sound familiar momma? This day, I took the shortie out. A 5’8” board that only gives you the option to pop up in big waves - if you’re quick enough and your sweet spot is dialed. I spent about 3 hours trying over and over and over and over again to catch a wave. After 3 months of giving and teaching, it was time to get. 

I caught one of 125 waves that day. Well maybe 2, I can’t remember. When I walked back to the beach, my co-instructor had been watching the whole time. He said, “I’m absolutely impressed with your determination. Anyone else I know would have exited the water two and a half hours ago. But you just kept going. If I’ve learned anything about you today is that you’re one helluva woman. You were not going to give up.” And so it goes…#cantstopwontstop. 

What I gave to myself that day was a lesson in resilience. When I’m “in it,” I seek connection. I seek friends who have gone where I’m going and survived. I get out and move my body, seeking belonging. I dig deep, determined to find meaning. And you know what, all of this is okay with me because I’ve become accustomed to who I am, now. And I am cool with me. 

BUT. But. But, the really important stuff is that we are designed to get through the capital V moments in life. Designed, in our brains, bodies, hearts and souls. I just think that is the coolest function to the motor we call our bodies, ourselves. 

I want you to think back…6 months…What are some of your most vulnerable moments? Look back like you’re viewing a reel of a movie. In your family, career, home-life, sex-life, in your body even. See it all and pull out the vulnerable moments. 

We have to be able to capture these, tease them out and ask why. Once we know more of that why, that’s when we start to give ourselves new mojo…power…strength. Then we give that love to our families, and out beyond our front doors. These moments are definable windows in life. We are designed to get through them, but not alone. 

Take good care of yourself. I hope it's a lovely, stable, and brilliant week.