On Jan. 3rd, Seth Godin wrote a post on resilience the same morning I woke up thinking about my own personal levels of resilience. As I was in the heart of my intention setting, wish making and nearing my last day of my 37th year, I was quite grateful for his post and definition of resilience. So, I took the opportunity to write him a thank you note. Later that night, he wrote back. It made me glow.
Seth defines resilience as, "The best strategy for those realistic enough to admit that they can't predict the future with more accuracy than others. Resilience isn't a bet on one outcome, instead, it's an investment across a range of possible outcomes, a way to ensure that regardless of what actually occurs (within the range), you'll do fine." He says a path of resilience is a powerful path, and that we undermine how powerful long-term resilience can be. I concur.
My posts in January have all followed the theme of coming "home." We come home physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually in a variety of forms each day. Coming "home" has always been very important to me.
For example, when my daddy passed away five years ago, it took everything I had to rebuild my way of being on this planet - in love, career, life, travel, family, friendships and community. It rocked my world. There were days when I didn't know if I would ever see light or allow myself to live in the light and soul that I am living in today. How could I know? I had never helped a parent die or been so intimately involved in death prior to that time period in my life.
Coming home felt physical and spiritually impossible, however some how I got myself back on my feet, got deep and dirty with my concept of coming "home" and built up my resilience. It's like training for a big race, or building up Oxytocin...it takes time.
Resilience to me:
- challenging the status quo
- the ability to think innovative about health and improvement of the system that takes care of you
- life in whole
That's a lot, but it helps you start looking at resilience from the inside (the heart, soul, health of humans), out (how this rubs off onto and helps our families and communities thrive for a long time).
When you choose a path of resilience, you learn to play and feel connected. You discover parts of yourself that you thought were going to lay dormant for years. Because right now, you spend a lot of time making sure everyone else gets their needs met and their pleasures tickled. But what about you? What are you doing to build your resilience up? Are you playing too?
Zolli, in his book Resilience, beautifully points out that resilience is rooted in community and groups where we live and work and play. When forming these relationships, we innately dive into the two key tenets of trust and cooperation. The two tenets that helped you fall in love, meet your best friends, grow in your career and ultimately believe in yourself as you became a mom. So let's bring the inside of resilience out onto the table, let's get scrappy and a bit messy with it. I believe that is what it's going to take for many moms that come here and read weekly.
In the comments, I want you to explore resilience in your life. Begin by asking yourself this question: What is resilience really about for me? Hold your heart and dive deep.
Love you strong!